Crazy lady

We are living with our friends Willie and Jo at the moment in Kingsford. Thank god Liam and I leave on Wednesday night because the lady that lives above us is crazy with a capital C.

On Saturday night I was hanging out some washing on the back line when she approached me. I heard someone call out Jo and she must have thought I was Jo who lived there when I quickly explained we were staying for a few days. That didn't really matter to her before she had rattled off her whole life story, peppered with some very colourful and racist language. Jo had explained to me that the landlord has evicted her because she's caused so much trouble for previous tenants and she's been there for 23 years and she has 12 weeks to find a new place. I quickly excused myself and locked the back door.

This morning I had to go to the supermarket and I was pushing Liam back in his stroller when I turned into the driveway and saw her sitting there. She was waiting for a cab. I said a quiet 'good morning' and then she proceeded to call me the most disgusting names. 'Fat pig' 'Fat whore'...it went on and on. I felt myself get quite teary and asked her to stop swearing in front of my son. She could call me whatever she wanted but I would not listen to her swearing in front of Liam. She then told me I probably swore in front of him anyway and he was too young to understand English.

I quickly ran inside and slammed the door, only to hear her still yell 'F You!!!'.

She then left shortly after. I've managed to avoid her all day but I have three loads of washing to do and I don't want to be stuck inside the house all day. I know she is crazy and harmless and I have no qualms in calling the police if I get really scared.

Crazy people love me. They are drawn to me like moths to a flame.

Two more sleeps till Perth. Hurry up please....

Happy Birthday Liam

Dear Liam

Happy Birthday my beautiful boy. I can't believe how quickly a year has passed.

I remember the moment you were born. I'll always remember the moment when the doctor told me she was cutting into me and how I felt you being pulled from me. I felt a strange mixture of excitement, about seeing you for the first time and about how sad I felt that you weren't going to be inside me anymore. No more 3am moments where it was just you and me, playing, in the dark of the night. Or when I was still sleeping and your dad would cuddle up behind me and feel you move around. Your dad would talk to you every night when he came home from work, without fail. He loves you so so much.

We've had a massive year. So huge. I took you to Perth when you were two months old to meet all your extended family. You were excellent on the flight. So many people commented on how good you were. You loved the trolley coming down the middle of the aisle so much I had to pull you in. I remember how Nana Bernie burst into tears when she saw you at the airport and held your head in her hands and told you how beautiful you were. I remember how excited your cousins Charlie, Jack and Harry where to meet you for the first time. I felt so proud to take you home.

When Nanny Mary and Grandad Joe came over from London in March I will never forget how beautiful their faces looked. It was like they had been waiting their whole lives to meet you. They spent 7 weeks with you and I could tell how much you loved them.

I hope I have been a good mum to you. I feel I have. I love you with such a ferocity in scares me. I would do absolutely anything for you. Anything. You are such a good little boy and I am so proud of you. There is not a day that goes by where I take you out and someone comments on you. Every time someone says something about you, my heart soars. You took a while to come to us, but you were worth every single moment of waiting.

Your dad was so proud to take you home to London in September. He was excited about going home for Uncle Paul's wedding and introducing you to everyone. You were fantastic on the flight but we got so scared when you got sick a couple of days later. The flight was just too much for you and you needed time to recover from it. I remember being so scared when we had to take you to the emergency department. But you came through and recovered like a trooper.

You are so funny. You laugh all the time and are so naturally curious about life and what passes through your hands. We love watching life through your eyes. We can't believe how blessed we are to have you in our lives.

Liam, this time next week we will be in Perth. Its going to be your new home and we hope you'll love it as much as we do and you'll be happy there. We want to give you the best in life and Perth is where all our family is and its that touch closer to London. You'll get to see your cousins all the time and see Nanna and Poppy. We plan to take you to the beach in summer and give you a backyard that you can play in till your heart is content.

Thank you for choosing us to be your mum and dad. Words cannot express how much we love you and how happy you make us. Your dad said to me that he cannot remember life before your were born. Its like you have always been in our hearts from the day your dad and I met and when you were born, it felt like 'a-ha, here you are'.

We love you Liam. We promise to always do the best we can for you and guide you on your way. Enjoy your first birthday. And here is to many more to come.

With love...always

Mum and Dad xx

This time last year...

This time last year I was sitting on a bed at The Royal in Randwick on Day 2 of my induction. I think in this picture I'd just had my third insertion of gel. It didn't really matter, because Liam just didn't want to come out. The gel did nothing. The midwives just wanted the gel to open up my cervix at least half a centremetre so they could break my waters.

On this day I remember going into the breakfast room to get our breakfast (Richard stayed over). I chatted to a lovely mexican lady who had just had her first insertion of gel. Like me, she said it would probably take ages. I remember eating my breakfast and taking our trays back to the breakfast room.

All of a sudden I heard 'GET OUT OF THE BLOODY WAY!!!!!!!!!'. It was the mexican lady and her husband hightailing it down the corridor in a wheelchair. She was crying and screaming. I asked her if she was alright? 'MOVE. MOOOVE. F&&&^^^^KK MOVE!!!'.

How rude I thought. There was no need to be like that.

I went back to my room. My mum had arrived and I told her what happened. She laughed and said that woman was going downstairs to give birth, as her gel had obviously worked. She then told me that was the beginning of labour.

I remember flopping onto my bed (well as much as you can flop at 42 weeks pregnant) and crying. I didn't want to be in that much pain. I wanted to be calm and surrounded by candles, my oils and the soft, dulcet tones of Dave Gray.

Little did I know what I was in for.

I hate moving...

Or I hate when things do not go according to plan. Since Saturday I have been hauling arse over tit (is that an expression? Probably not!) to make sure I am on time for delivery people and removalists.

Where has customer service gone? Its disappeared. And general manners and respect. Argghhhh...

I have a gorgeous furniture package that got sold for a rock bottom price that will now have to go and sit on the street, waiting for the City of Sydney Council to pick up tomorrow because some bloke who won it on Ebay decided not to show up. Twice. And now he won't answer my phone calls.

And then there is the carpet cleaner who forgot to show up this morning at 8am. Never mind I've been up with the birds with a grumpy, teething, non sleeping Tasmanian Devil (read Liam) who has developed a penchant for screaming very LOUDLY at everyone.

Don't get me started on our real estate agent.

I'm so excited to be moving back to Perth but this just makes me cranky and dulls my final days in Sydney. Richard and I have one night of cleaning left and we are done. Amen.

Oh so tired....

I am so tired this week. I've packed up the flat and now its onto cleaning. Richard has been massively busy at work so its just been me and Liam doing it.

I took Liam for his 12 month check this morning and after it was done I thought I better eat something because I felt like I was going to pass out. It felt like such an effort to push Liam around in his pram.

I decided to come off my medication two weeks ago. For the past two months I have been feeling brilliant and I am taking care of myself in terms of eating well and exercising and I just didn't want to be on them anymore. Instead of weaning myself off them with the help of the doctor I've just stopped cold turkey. I know this is so so wrong but there was a couple of weeks where I forgot to take them and for those two weeks I was taking them every second day. I haven't suffered any side effects and it was such a low dose anyway. I think maybe the tiredness is stemming from not taking the Lexapro.

Liam's check went really well. He's 12.8kg and 83cm. He's such a big boy. The crawling is nearly there, I honestly think he will start crawling by next Friday which is his first birthday. He even took a couple of steps on his knees last night after I built him a fort made of boxes.

God, where has this year gone???

Oh so tired.

An honest opinion needed...

I just recently won this outfit off Ebay.

It all started last week. I was at playgroup and we were in the singing room and I saw this mum in this fabulous little playsuit. It was green with white spots and it was strapless and had shorts. She wore it with a big tan belt and gold thongs. Lovely.

I got onto Ebay that night and tried to find something in a size 16. Maybe they only make little spotty playsuits for size 12's because I couldn't find anything that I liked, until this.

Its getting made for me in China and I've never bought anything that gets made and sent to you.

I'm thinking it might be nice for summer with a grey singlet, silver thongs and bangles. Plus I've just realised the back of my legs have broken out in spider veins so I'm a bit conscious of showing them off right now.

What do you think? Whenever I look at the picture it looks a bit complicated really and I'm wondering what its going to be like when it turns up.