Sunday, December 28, 2008

Mother Guilt

I am thinking today that Mum Guilt must be something they feed you intravenously when you give birth.

I've spent the best part of the week feeling guilty. Guilty about Liam's routine (or lack thereof or me totally confusing him each day), guilty about alternating between breast and bottle when I think I should be sticking to one or the other, guilty for wanting extra sleep, guilty for wanting to get a pedicure before Richard goes back to work, guilty for snapping at Richard today and just plain mad at myself.

I think the hardest thing for me at the moment is the total loss of control I feel. Before Liam I prided myself on being organised and remembering things. Now I am lucky if I have the mental clarity to read the paper each day. Time passes by so quickly and sometimes there are just not enough hours in the day.

I love my little boy so much it hurts. I actually miss him while he's sleeping. And I know right now, this is just a little phase we are going through as we try to work one another out and get into our groove. I am positive most mothers go through this.

1 comment:

Shellsibelle said...

Hey Jo - I am not a mother yet, but I do know that all Mums go through this! I know my Mum did, and so did my older sister. And I think Mother's Guilt begins as soon as the sperm meets the egg :P As time goes on you will get more sleep and won't be cranky or overtired, and you will get into a routine with Liam. I'm sure you are a wonderful wife and mother :]