Saturday, February 28, 2009

Married with children

Richard and I had a big fight today.

I hate fighting with Richard. I really, really hate it.

We are under a bit of pressure at the moment with his parents arriving on Wednesday morning and a few other things. I had to go to an afternoon tea this afternoon and I didn't think it was a good idea to go as there were so many things to do around the house before his parents arrive and I thought between the two of us we could get it all done and amuse Liam in the meantime.

But I went and had a wonderful time and took Liam. He was a gem for the afternoon and I said to Richard we would get out of his hair so he could get some jobs done.

When he came to pick us up he said he decided to watch a movie instead and 'chill out'. I got so mad....

As much as I hate fighting with Richard, I hate knowing that Liam is hearing us argue. I remember when my parents argued and as a kid I hated it. I got really upset and couldn't stop crying. Our flat is like a tip at the moment and my hair is falling out everywhere due to the whole pregnancy/birth. I'm over my hair falling out and finding it everywhere.

Liam obviously picked up on the tension because he cacked it big style this afternoon. I took him out for a big walk and managed to calm myself down. After I put him down, we had a good chat about everything and managed to sort it out.

Having a baby is like throwing a hand grenade in your marriage. There are things I miss about the two of us prior to Liam, but you know, having Liam has made us closer and I love that. Its just that when the shit hits the fan and it inevitably does, you just need to try harder to get over the bad days.

Luckily I can't stay too mad at Richard. We are the best of friends again now and all those jobs got done quick smart when I got home :)

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Happy 3 month birthday Liam...

Liam is 3 months old today. Where did that time go?

It seems we have reached a few milestones. I get greeted with a smile every morning at 7am. I think he is starting to giggle but the giggle turns into a fake cough to get my attention. Its pretty cute.

I've also started to talk more his language...lots of 'aaahboo' and 'aaaahhhh' and 'oooooooohhhhh'. He seems to understand it because he will make similar sounds back to me. Its so beautiful watching him trying to communicate with me and I feel like we are having little conversations.

For the last two nights, Liam has slept through the night which is as most mum's will know, a very welcome and special treat. When he did it the first time I thought I hallucinated when I woke up and checked the clock on my mobile. Touch wood it continues but I usually think their sleeps are all over the shop in the first year.

He really is such a joy and blessing. My most favourite times with him are 4pm in the afternoons. We lay on my bed and watch the trees outside our window. We talk in our special little language and sometimes we just have a big stare-off which ends in lots of smiles. Everything is quiet and peaceful outside and the light from the mid afternoon dances all over the walls. After a hectic day its lovely to unwind and savour those precious little moments together. One of us usually nods off and then we awake about an hour later before its time for a bath.

I think we are so lucky to have Liam in our lives.
Happy 3 month birthday my little duck.... xxx








Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Welcome to my palace


My inlaws arrive next Wednesday from London.

They will be staying with us for a total of about 7 weeks I think...and this will be the first time they will meet Liam.

I love my inlaws but I'm not very good at sharing my personal space. By personal space I mean my home. I'm a bit anal about certain things and I guess I have a very strict routine on how I do things. Its probably very annoying to anyone that comes and stays with us. I get this from my mum. When I was in Perth I wondered why she wouldn't let me do the dishes or wash any clothes...she just likes things done in a certain way.

I guess I am very Monica aren't I?

We also live in a two bedroom/two bathroom flat, so space is not at a premium. We've decided its easier for them to have our bedroom with the ensuite, while Richard and I will move into Liam's nursery. This is another thing I am not overly happy about it but I think its the only option at the moment.

Richard and I had a chat about it all last night. My inlaws have been here for every big life change Richard and I have had. They stayed for 6 weeks when we got engaged and then another 5 weeks when we came back from honeymoon. We last saw them in September 2007 when we went back to London for three weeks. During this last trip we found out that Richard had a sister and she was adopted from birth. I still feel like this news is hanging in the air like a question mark. His parents told us the day before we were due to fly out and I still think there are more things that have to be said.

Richard said I need to lighten up a bit while they are here. I know this, but I'm not good at it. To be honest I reckon Richard and I won't get much of a look in really. Liam is going to be massively spoilt.

As long as Liam is in bed at 7pm every night and feeds every four hours I am happy. The problem I had when I went back to Perth was everyone telling me what to do, when I have a routine that works very well for Liam. Yes, I am anal about it...but it helps me maintain my sanity.

I guess this trip will be another big learning curve for us as a family, in terms of expectations and how Richard's parents will be as grandparents. I found when I went back to Perth that my dad wasnt much of a hands on grandfather which got me a bit upset for the first week, until mum set me straight. He's had four kids and done all the nappies, bottles and nighttime feeds. He's better when his grandkids get a bit older and he can interact with them more.

So its all very interesting really, this whole grandparent/new parent/new baby dynamic. This trip for Richard's parents isn't really about me. Its about Richard and Liam. I've had my time and attention with the pregnancy and birth and the trip home to Perth. Richard has comprimised a lot to live in Australia with me. My Monica tendancies will have to take a bit of a back seat for now.









Monday, February 23, 2009

A lovely song....

Last night there wasn't much chop on telly, so Rich and I did what we always do, switch to the music channels.

On MAX Yumi Stymes did a bit of a piece on Jason Mraz. He has a song out now that Richard really loves. Both of us know we are constantly complaining about the shit music that seems to be invading the charts right now. I think we've even started a conversation with my younger brother who knows every lyric going around with 'back in our day....'.

That's when you know you have reached new levels of old-fartness.

Jason Mraz has gotten together with an artist from MySpace called Colbie Callait and come up with this gem: Lucky.

If Richard and I were getting married again (which I would love to do with Liam) and the three of us got to have a little dance together...this would be the song I would pick. The lyrics sum up everything I feel about Richard. Plus Liam loves having a dance any old time.

Enjoy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UsSy_V7ggSU

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Cocktails and Dreams


Yesterday afternoon while feeding Liam I watched that classic movie 'Swingers'. You know the movie don't you? Classic lines like 'You're so money baby' and 'let's go play with the pretty babies'. Vince Vaughan looks positively anorexic in it.

They seemed to drink a lot of the classic drinks like Martini's and Whiskey while dancing to Big Bad Voodoo Daddy. I started to get a bit of a craving for a cocktail...

Martini's aren't really my thing, but Cosmopolitans are. The thing is, they are usually $16 a pop when you go out to a bar and after about three, Ive usually blown my budget, not to mention my dignity.

Our friends Willie and Jo popped over last night to see Liam and I suggested we get some takeaway and drinks in and make a night of it. I told Jo I was craving a Cosmo and she told me about this new Smirnoff invention for$27 where it is all pre-made. Well, blow me down, I was one happy lady!

We sent the boys off to Paddy Hannan's and us girls ordered pizza's. I got some lemon out and dusted off the martini glasses. Liam decided to be very good and was asleep by 7pm and we had a little bit of a grown up part-ay in our flat and watched bad 90's videos on VH1. Why go out I say. The drinks are close by, you can pick your choice of music and you don't need to queue for the loo.

I definitely recommend this stuff if you fancy something different than a bottle of wine or champagne.

After one I was completely sozzled but I'm a bit of two pot screamer anyway...

So, what are you waiting for? You know you want to do it.....


Thursday, February 19, 2009

Spots, sequins and fairy lights..

Since having Liam, I've become obsessed with spots, sequins and fairy lights.

The spots obession comes from my other obsession, Cath Kidston. She does fabulous kids clothes and homewares and uses lots of spots. While over in Perth I went on a few shopping expeditions with my mum and came across these gorgeous sheets for Liam's cot, aren't they beautiful? They had them in pink and green, but I had to get blue. Blue for a boy of course:




As for sequins, I am pretty sure I am a frustrated showgirl at heart. I remember my cousins dancing costumes that my auntie made and I was always fascinated with how the sequins sparkled in the light. If I see a piece of clothing with a sequin on it, I am instantly in love with it. Perth has a great DFO place called Harbourtown, and it was in this shop I FELL IN LOVE with these two items:


A silver caplet reduced from $80 to $10 (the rose is something I purchased separetely but want to base an outfit around):




Then this gorgeous tux style tank for $20 - bargain!





I think it goes perfectly with the Skull and Crossbone scarf I purchased at Sportsgirl after Xmas, but haven't worn yet. Do you know a mum with an 11 week old that wears Skulls and Crossbones and Sequins? I am awaiting the perfect opportunity to wear it:



Fairy Lights stem from my obsession with Nigella Lawson. I love her. While breastfeeding Liam over Xmas, they ran Nigella episodes back to back on the Food channel and I noticed she had fairy lights in her house - everywhere. So I tried the same with our kitchen:










Soooo...those are a few of my favourite things right now. But this little cherub is my absolute favourite! Maybe I could wear the sequins and scarf for him?























Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Mummies vs Non Mummies

Last Sunday my lovely friend Simone invited all the girls over to her flat in Scarborough, which is like Perth's version of Bondi.

We had a beautiful breakfast and champers and orange while overlooking the Indian Ocean. I have been friends with these group of girls since I was 17. We all met in Karratha which is a country town in north west of WA and where my dad was transferred in my final year of school. Everyone moved back to Perth after a few years and are now settled there, except for me.

I guess the breakfast was a catch up for everyone due to me being in town and a chance for them all to meet Liam.

One of my friends, Maree, was a girl I shared a flat with before I moved to London. Maree and I could tell you stories that would make your hair curl. We were notorious party animals in our twenties and we still share a nice bond from that time. The difference is Maree is married and does not want children. I have just had Liam.

Maree, Simone and I went on a girls night the previous Friday. We had a fantastic time, but I could see Maree was having a bit of trouble getting her head around the fact that I am now a mum. When I went over to her house that night she said 'Jo, you look so nice tonight and not like someone who has just had a baby...most mums I know look like shit'. I DID make an effort that night, but most of the time, I do look like shit when I am schleping around with Liam in cargos and thongs with no make up on. I just don't have the time to spend hours in front of the mirror.

All the girls that attended the brekkie are mum's. The exception is Maree and Simone, who just had her divorce finalised. The conversation around the brekkie table consisted of:

* Huggies vs Baby Love
* C Sections vs Vaginal Birth
* Four bedroom homes vs three bedroom homes
* Naughty corner vs time out
* Private birth vs Public birth

Now I love to talk about bubba's at the best of times. But I could see that Maree and Simone were getting annoyed. I tried to change the conversation a few times so that we could talk about something else, but the conversation would find its way back to babies. I wondered if Maree and Simone could see that even though I was a mum, I was thinking of them and that there were other things to talk about. Unfortunately they were silent and Maree left pretty early.

It got me thinking...do friendships change after you have babies? Maree got grilled at breakfast on her choice not to have children. I think that's why she left.

I like to think that being a mummy is a big part of who I am and also something I waited a long time for, so I want to embrace everything about it. But I wonder if I talk on the phone to my two non-mummy friends about Liam, are they going to get bored and will our friendships change?

It saddened me that this was the first proper catch up everyone had been to for the past 6 months! I know kids and life keep us busy...but keeping your friendships alive and working on them, despite what different life changes you go through are SO important too.

For what its worth, I love my non mummy friends. When I saw them Friday night, it was just the three of us and I was just Jo...kinda like the old times.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Ramblings from a tired mum...

Only a few more sleeps till I am re-united with my beautiful husband. I missed him so much today. We don't celebrate Valentines really, except for the first year we got together and stayed in a hotel for the night. It just would have been nice to have a hug today.

As much as I have loved spending time with my parents these past few weeks, my heart is elsewhere right now. Two weeks away from Richard is just toooo long.

I don't think he is going to recognise Liam when we get back on Wednesday night. Liam has chunked up unbelievably, is farting and pooing like a champ, does THREE burps after each bottle in quick succession and is making lots of wonderful noises. I love talking to him and waiting for him to respond. The smiles I get from him just make my heart sing.

Today mum and I were shopping for clothes. She begged me to buy something for myself rather than Liam. I went into Target to find some cargo pants just to slob around in. While in the fitting rooms I decided to get vocal about my body and how its changed so much since I gave birth and how I have overhang...blah blah blah....

The lady in the cubicle next to me said 'at least you have a good excuse!'. She then looked at Liam and said 'you have the most beautiful baby girl with such long eyelashes...how old is she?'. He was wearing a blue t-shirt that said 'Daddy's future Caddy'. I'm getting used to this happening a lot. Liam is rather pretty!

Last night I went out with my two old flatmates. One just got married and the other has just had her divorce finalised. We went out to a bar in Subiaco and then another one in the city. I feel so old when I go out now - not that is happens too much these days mind you. Everyone is so young! But I had a good time. My divorced friend is on the hunt again and I must admit I'd hate to be single...the pool gets a lot smaller after the age of 35 let me tell you. She had a Sven Goran Erikksen lookalike approach her.

Anyway, today I am tired (courtesy of three Cosmo's and two champagnes) and lovesick. I'd do anything to snuggle up to Richard tonight.

I hope you all felt the love today xx

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Welcome to the jungle

I am so impressed with my boy. We made the plane journey to Perth in fine form and he was a hit with the other passengers. When I booked online I thought I had booked a seat towards the end of the plane but I was in the middle. Anyway, at least it was an aisle seat which was great fun for Liam as he spent most of the flight with his head cocked around my seat looking up and down the aisle. And he loved the tv's on the back of the seats which kept him amused for hours. Unfortnately I wasn't prepared to pay Richard Branson $10 to watch Foxtel so we had to watch the same Fifi Box commercial at least a thousand times.

I even got time to down a few crackers and some juice!

My mum burst into tears when she saw us. I was so happy to see her! Everytime I land in Perth I feel the weight off my shoulders and feel ahhhhhh...I love that there is hardly any traffic, everything is so S P A C I O U S and the sun is always shining. Oh, how I miss you Perth.

It seems the entire extended family was at mum and dad's when we got home. Everyone was so keen to meet him. Poor Liam, he freaked out with so many people. He's so used to having mum and dad potter around him and living in a pretty chilled out environment. The number one rule in my family is if you can't be heard, talk louder. Then his cousin Charlie was all over him. She was literally bursting at the seams... 'Jo-Jo, can I hold him? Can I feed him? Can I pat his bottom? Can I sleep in his cot?'. She followed me around all day yesterday, even when I was pacing the kitchen burping him. When she left last night she said 'Jo-Jo, I love boys but I love Liam the most'.

Last night when I collapsed into bed a thought occured to me. Richard and I have been largely on our own for five years without any family around us. We've made our own rules and our own decisions. Within the space of 7 hours, I'd had 30 different opinions thrown at me on how to settle Liam, or when to feed him and whether I should change him. I'm not used to it. And when we move back to Perth this is something that will happen on a regular basis.

Anyway, its great to be here. But I miss Richard so much and I suspect Liam does too.

x

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Holi-Bobs

The little ferrett (Liam) and I will be up with the birds tomorrow to catch our 6am flight to Perth for two weeks.

I am still packing and I started on Sunday. I usually overpack anyway as you never know what you might need and with a baby I am being over cautious. Mum called me up last night and has already bought him formula, nappies, bath products AND got a car capsule fitted for the car. She's even pruned the roses for him. She is so excited.

I am really looking forward to introducing Liam to his cousins: Charlie, Jack and Harry. We will be heading down to Margaret River on Sunday to see Jack and Harry and its such a beautiful country town. I'm hoping I might be able to get a little extra sleep as Liam's night feeds are all over the shop again. Mum's are lovely like that aren't they?

Richard gets to have TWO WEEKS OF UNINTERRUPTED SLEEP. I am so jealous. Why is everything about sleep these days?

Once we are back in Sydney its time to get organised for Richard's parents arrival for six weeks and Liam's christening. Busy times ahead!

I'll be sure to post lots of pics once we are back..


xxx

Monday, February 2, 2009

Ladies night...


On Saturday night I had my first girls night out since Liam was born. Richard was very happy to get some one on one time with Liam and I was looking forward to catching up with the girls.

Sometimes, and they don't happen too often these days because we are all getting far too sensible, you have a terrific night. Saturday night the champagne flowed, Michael Jackson dance moves were impersonated and stretchmarks (ie me) were flashed in the girls loo. It would appear I lose all class after a few bubbles.

Unfortunately, Saturday night was a sad night too. One of my good friends in the picture above is having a break from her partner and I am so sad for the both of them. I love them both to bits and am really upset that things aren't working out for them. Sometimes I wonder why things have to change and am already wondering how it will affect our little group of couples. Anyway, that's life and these things happen. I really honestly hope they can work it out as I think they are terrific together.

Sunday of course was a bit of a write off. Yesterday I felt so guilty for indulging. I missed Liam like crazy. But of course, 6am Sunday morning, he gave me a lovely little present in his nappy to jolt me back to reality. Thank you ferrett... xxx