Thursday, November 26, 2009

Oh so tired....

I am so tired this week. I've packed up the flat and now its onto cleaning. Richard has been massively busy at work so its just been me and Liam doing it.

I took Liam for his 12 month check this morning and after it was done I thought I better eat something because I felt like I was going to pass out. It felt like such an effort to push Liam around in his pram.

I decided to come off my medication two weeks ago. For the past two months I have been feeling brilliant and I am taking care of myself in terms of eating well and exercising and I just didn't want to be on them anymore. Instead of weaning myself off them with the help of the doctor I've just stopped cold turkey. I know this is so so wrong but there was a couple of weeks where I forgot to take them and for those two weeks I was taking them every second day. I haven't suffered any side effects and it was such a low dose anyway. I think maybe the tiredness is stemming from not taking the Lexapro.

Liam's check went really well. He's 12.8kg and 83cm. He's such a big boy. The crawling is nearly there, I honestly think he will start crawling by next Friday which is his first birthday. He even took a couple of steps on his knees last night after I built him a fort made of boxes.

God, where has this year gone???

Oh so tired.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

An honest opinion needed...

I just recently won this outfit off Ebay.

It all started last week. I was at playgroup and we were in the singing room and I saw this mum in this fabulous little playsuit. It was green with white spots and it was strapless and had shorts. She wore it with a big tan belt and gold thongs. Lovely.

I got onto Ebay that night and tried to find something in a size 16. Maybe they only make little spotty playsuits for size 12's because I couldn't find anything that I liked, until this.

Its getting made for me in China and I've never bought anything that gets made and sent to you.

I'm thinking it might be nice for summer with a grey singlet, silver thongs and bangles. Plus I've just realised the back of my legs have broken out in spider veins so I'm a bit conscious of showing them off right now.

What do you think? Whenever I look at the picture it looks a bit complicated really and I'm wondering what its going to be like when it turns up.

Monday, November 23, 2009

My weekend

I think I am still recovering from my weekend. I had my girlie leaving night on Saturday and then we had Richard's work Xmas party at Bicentennial Park yesterday. Probably neither was a good idea.

Saturday night we all went to The Winery in Surry Hills. It was rammed pack and so freaking hot. I could feel sweat running down my inner thighs. We couldn't get a table to save our lives so we went to The Dolphin to eat, which felt like a sauna, and then onto a pub in Paddington where we danced to cheesy tunes. One of my girlfriends bought me a cock-sucking cowboy shooter which killed me and I left shortly after that, only to pass out on my bed. Luckily Sunday morning is my sleep in day (Rich gets Saturdays).

However, we had to be up early. After begging Richard to stop through a drive through McDonalds to buy me a large coke with crushed ice, we proceeded to die in the heat. Great park, not a great day for it unfortunately. Richard volunteered to be Santa and I did actually think he was going to die in his suit. Poor love. He was mustering up as much enthusiasm as he could for the kids and they were all slowly going feral. At one point I thought I might have to duck Liam in the esky.

We finally got home and passed out on the floor with the air con on.

I have so much to do this week. Heaps of packing. We need to be out of our flat by next Wednesday, but we are leaving on Sunday night to stay with friends.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Life's Little Surprises

Yesterday Liam and I went to visit my best friend Jo, who lived next door to us, but is now renting a new place in Kingsford with her husband and puppy. They have a three bedroom house and god, I just love it. Heaps and heaps of space and a big huge hallway. If Liam ever decides to start crawling, a huge hallway would be fantastic for him.

We are actually moving in with them when we move out of here on the 29th December.

So, we popped over with some lunch and after we ate Jo mentioned to me that she had been feeling sick that morning and her period was two weeks late. They have just started trying for a baby but she said with her being 35 and all, it couldn't possibly have happened that quickly. Or could it?

I offered to run down the road and get her a test. She refused for about an hour and then let me go and buy one. I got back, showed her how to pee on the stick and sat out the bathroom door yelling instructions.

She opened the door and showed me the two, very clear lines and burst into tears. I started crying and then Liam joined in for good measure. What a moment. It felt very similar to when I got my positive test.

As luck would have it, I'm going to be leaving her. Jo is Scottish and doesn't have family in Sydney and I'm the only mumma friend she has. I can't believe that three weeks before we leave, my bestie is preggers.

Ah...congrats to her, what a lovely, beautiful surprise!

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Bad swimmers

Its back to the drawing board yet again with my swimwear. My new swimmers arrived in the post yesterday but when I tried them on I look like a sausage too big for its skin. I DO NOT LOOK LIKE THE MODEL IN THE PHOTO that I posted a few days ago.

Why was I kidding myself that white swimmers would look ok?

I'm going to refund them and see what else I can get.

I had a look around Kmart yesterday and noticed they had some lovely bathers. I also snapped myself up a beautiful peach top at Kmart to wear with a silver caplet I have for my leaving soiree this Saturday night. Its a girls night and we are heading out to The Winery in Surry Hills and a few grooves in Paddington afterwards. The top half of my outfit is sorted, I have no idea what to wear on the bottom half since my wardrobe is full of sensible jeans, cargo pants and ballet flats.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

A shift

Yesterday I went to playgroup. There is a small group of us that meet up on Monday mornings at St Nicholas Church in Coogee where they do a FANTASTIC playgroup for kids. I mean, fantastic. For $5 they provide morning tea for the kids/mums/carers, every single toy/activity/piece of equipment needed for newborns to pre-schoolers and this place is ram packed. The volunteers are beautiful and they do dancing and storytime for the kids.

My friend Julie has a 12 week old daughter called Kaja and she mentioned to me last week that she wasn't into Mothers Group and was a bit bored at home, so I suggested she come along. The kids go crazy with the toys and us mum's gather around with our cuppa's and chocolate biscuits and have a good old gossip.

Julie walked into the church hall and surveyed the carnage. She actually looked scared.

'Oh Jo. Is this what my life is about now?' she asked me.

Julie is a career girl, but has never made a secret of how much she wanted children.

'Yep' I said.

I remember those first three months with a newborn. I was shit scared to leave the house in case Liam cried/pooed/got sick. My security blanket was all the stuff I had at home for him and when I did leave the house I carried a massive bag to cover me for any eventuality. I also found it hard to get out there and meet other mums. I was worried about whether they would judge me and when I look back now I can't believe I thought that because as a new mum you second guess yourself anyway and new mum's understand how hard it all is.

Six of us sat around with our babies and had a really good time. We went into the adjoining room for storytime and dance and watched our kids go crazy on the floor singing about koala's and platapuses.

Julie thanked me at the end of playgroup. She said it was really nice to get out of the house and talk to other mum's and watch the older kids because she realised then that her bubba will only be tiny for so long and that life will change for her and she just had to embrace it.

It occured to me as Liam and I went to the supermarket after saying goodbye to Julie and Kaja that we have come so far. I feel more confident in my ability to be a good mum to Liam. I've embraced all the changes that come with being a mum and instead of getting frustrated with the hard times, I remind myself its a phase and it will pass. It also occured to me that Liam will be one in just after two weeks time and although its been the most challenging year of my life, its also been the best and I did ok.

Actually, I am really proud of myself.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

In my thoughts

I've been thinking of the Heuston and Watarlow families this week after what happened to their family in the stabbing's in Randwick.

I've noticed the Daily Telegraph have taken photo's of the father arriving home from the UK to pick his daughter Ruby up from the hospital.

I do hope the media leave this family alone. It is such a terrible tragedy and Mr Heuston will be shattered with grief while caring for his three children.

Life is so short. Count your blessings and cherish the ones in your heart. Live every day with as much enthusiasm and love.

My prayers are with the families involved.


Tummy Time

In the last week, Liam has been moving all around his cot and we have been finding him in all various positions. His favourite is sleeping on his tummy and I think he looks so comfortable.

I can only go to sleep on my stomach and I think he takes after me.

I took him to the doctor on Monday after playgroup and she was a bit concerned he isn't crawling yet. Liam prefers to sit and bum shuffle everywhere and when you do put him onto his tummy he will get onto all fours and rock, but I think because he is a bigger baby and he's about 11.9kg and very long, he needs to gain a bit more strength to push off. All my brothers were bum shufflers and mum said they didn't start crawling/cruising/walking until 15 months so I think we might have a while to go yet.

The doctor recommended I take him to a Paed or Physio but my instinct tells me he is not far off. I'm going to trust that instead.

Its all rather exciting in our household right now, getting ready for the move. I've crossed off lots of things on my to do list and I am so excited about the big move west. I can't wait. It looks like Richard's work will create a new role for him to work from home in Perth and he'll be travelling throughout Asia, Australia and NZ to set up systems which he is a bit excited about. My niece Charlie is really excited and keeps telling me how she will babysit Liam for me. She's four. Bless her.

Friday, November 6, 2009

New Togs

I'd like to give a big thankyou to Belinda who recommended to me yesterday in my quest for swimwear post baby. Thankyou Belinda, because I bagged myself a lovely pair of swimmers for the bargain price of $19.99 US plus postage and handling.

I can't say I have ever bought togs online before but I'm thinking these ones are going to be ok. I think I'm being a bit ambitious choosing the colour white for my swimwear but I'm promising to keep myself fake tanned this summer (my natural colour is whiter than the cossie itself) so hopefully I'll look ok with the other mum's down at the paddling pool. Failing that I can wrap a nice sarong around my lower half.

I've just watched the last few episodes of Cold Feet this afternoon while Liam has been sleeping. A box and a half of tissues and a few Tim Tams later I am still sobbing. Why did Rachel have to die? Especially after they just bought the house which by the way I LOVE.

I hope you all have a great weekend. We have lots to do around here in anticipation of the big move. Here are a couple of snaps of my new purchase...

Wednesday, November 4, 2009


I can't help letting my mind wander back to this time next year. I was massively huge, with a pregnant belly and into my first week of maternity leave. I was still cleaning like a maniac and checking out the stretchmarks that were just sprouting on my belly. I had managed to keep them at bay throughout the whole pregnancy but in the last couple of weeks they appeared.

Instead of hating them like I did back then, I've grown used to them and they have faded quite a bit with a lot of stretchmark Bio oil. I'm proud of them now. They were all a part of getting Liam into this world.

Liam is a lot bigger now and exploring more. He's still not crawling but bum shuffling everywhere. He is going to love the beach this year. I'm looking forward to taking him to the beach where I went as a kid and spending lots of time in mum and dad's pool.

His swimwear is sorted. Mine is not. Everything seems to be halternecked and with one bigger boob and major droopiness I can't quite pull off the halter neck look. Bikini's are out. Tankini's I might be able to pull off. Strapless one piece's aren't looking too bad but aren't a good look when you get dunked in a wave.

I'm still looking. I'm now turning my search online. Any pointers?

Monday, November 2, 2009

Moving on...

Why is it when you make a big decision in your life to move to another city or country, you start to see your current home with different eyes.

I have never quite loved our current flat. It pained me we had to move down to the end of the street when our previous flat was being sold. I'd just fallen pregnant and I knew exactly how I wanted to do the spare room up.

But move we did. We knew it was only short term before we had Liam and then moved to Perth.

Over the last few weeks I haven't cleaned our home to my usual high standards. I've let things slip a bit because I know we are packing up soon and its going to be cleaned before the final inspection.

Now I am noticing all the things I like about it. Like how when I hang out the washing each morning the guy below us who owns a home catering business cooks his food on his outdoor bbq and tells me what he is making. Or how we have air conditioning on a muggy day today, or how Liam likes to look at the birds on his back balcony. There is a real sense of community in our apartment block and we are going to miss it.

I took Liam to Coogee on a playdate today and I thought 'god, I love this beach'. Its quiet during the week and there are kids and pregnant bellies everywhere. The locals are friendly.

Although I have had a love/hate relationship with Sydney it has been home for 5 years and I am going to miss it. Its going to be strange moving back home after 7 years away and returning with a husband and son.

I just pray/hope that everything will work out and we are making the right decision. Deep down I know we are, but there is always that bundle of nerves when you are uprooting your life.