Tuesday, November 17, 2009

A shift

Yesterday I went to playgroup. There is a small group of us that meet up on Monday mornings at St Nicholas Church in Coogee where they do a FANTASTIC playgroup for kids. I mean, fantastic. For $5 they provide morning tea for the kids/mums/carers, every single toy/activity/piece of equipment needed for newborns to pre-schoolers and this place is ram packed. The volunteers are beautiful and they do dancing and storytime for the kids.

My friend Julie has a 12 week old daughter called Kaja and she mentioned to me last week that she wasn't into Mothers Group and was a bit bored at home, so I suggested she come along. The kids go crazy with the toys and us mum's gather around with our cuppa's and chocolate biscuits and have a good old gossip.

Julie walked into the church hall and surveyed the carnage. She actually looked scared.

'Oh Jo. Is this what my life is about now?' she asked me.

Julie is a career girl, but has never made a secret of how much she wanted children.

'Yep' I said.

I remember those first three months with a newborn. I was shit scared to leave the house in case Liam cried/pooed/got sick. My security blanket was all the stuff I had at home for him and when I did leave the house I carried a massive bag to cover me for any eventuality. I also found it hard to get out there and meet other mums. I was worried about whether they would judge me and when I look back now I can't believe I thought that because as a new mum you second guess yourself anyway and new mum's understand how hard it all is.

Six of us sat around with our babies and had a really good time. We went into the adjoining room for storytime and dance and watched our kids go crazy on the floor singing about koala's and platapuses.

Julie thanked me at the end of playgroup. She said it was really nice to get out of the house and talk to other mum's and watch the older kids because she realised then that her bubba will only be tiny for so long and that life will change for her and she just had to embrace it.

It occured to me as Liam and I went to the supermarket after saying goodbye to Julie and Kaja that we have come so far. I feel more confident in my ability to be a good mum to Liam. I've embraced all the changes that come with being a mum and instead of getting frustrated with the hard times, I remind myself its a phase and it will pass. It also occured to me that Liam will be one in just after two weeks time and although its been the most challenging year of my life, its also been the best and I did ok.

Actually, I am really proud of myself.


Amy said...

What a beautiful reflection Jo - realising you have made it so well through the first year is just the best isn't it!

Enjoy xoxo

Chelle, Nick and Raya said...

That's lovely Jo. You have every right to feel proud of yourelf as you have done a wonderful job with Liam