Saturday, February 27, 2010

Hello long weekend...

I love love love long weekends.

I don't have a lot planned this weekend. I am going to take it easy. Its been a hard week and I'm still getting over a bug that all of us have had. I've been invited to a girls night tonight in the city but I'm going to drive my car in, join my friends in their hotel room for an hour or two and return back to my cosy love nest. I need my rest and I really want to get some exercise in this weekend too.

Its been so hot in Perth. Everyone is obsessed with the weather here. Liam is coping with it amazingly well, whereas Rich and I just forget how hot it gets here.

Tomorrow we are going house hunting. Just putting a few tenative feelers out there and scoping out suburbs now that we feel a little more settled. We have a bit of an idea what to look for and wouldn't mind a project, like a bathroom or kitchen.

Liam changed overnight and is scaling everything in sight. He's standing and cruising furniture and will sit and watch the dishwasher and point and laugh at it. He's such a cutie.

Look how much my boy has changed lately!!

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Lunchtime treat

Every morning while walking to work I walk past His Majesty's Theatre and then past a chemist. For weeks now I have noticed they have an in house beautician so at the start of the week I made an appointment to have an express facial and eyebrow wax/tint.

I have been so stressed lately. In my own little bubble. Trying desperately to get all my worlds aligned and balanced.

I arrived for my appointment and was greeted by Jody. We had a lovely chat about life and travel. She chatted away about her degree in nutrition while I got my monobrow attended to. 5 minutes later she turned the lights down and put the Ministry of Sound Chillout Sessions up a notch.

For the next 40 minutes I had the best facial of my life. So relaxed I was, I fell asleep and started snoring. I was in pure, relaxed heaven. I don't know what Jody had, but she had magic hands.

After she awoke me from my snoring slumber, I felt transformed. I literally floated from her studio back to my office. I felt relaxed and like a new woman.

Its a reminder to treat myself each month. To shake off the employee and mum tag, and reward myself. I can't wait to go back...

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Goodbye Monday

The boss and I had our chat today. Things feel a little clearer now. She apologised profusely for not meeting with me at the start of my contract and in her words 'forgetting about me'. I didn't mention how I thought it wasn't the nicest thing to give feedback to someone at 5pm on a Friday night but I did say I didn't really relax over the weekend as my mind was filled with work. I thought she might get the hint but she didn't.

I remember when I was temping in London I worked with a lady who had a management role and who also had two kids. I was helping her out for 4 weeks and one day I was sitting opposite her at her desk when I noticed she had a little post it on her computer.

'Breathe breathe and breathe. Its just a job, your family is the most important thing in your life'.

I remember asking about her note and she explained to me that whenever things got too hectic in her day, she would remind herself of what was important. She said you can only get so much done in one day.

I never thought going back to work while raising a child would be so hard for me, but it is. I really don't think I would be working full time unless Richard finished at 2.30pm each day and could spend the rest of the day with Liam. Our plan is for me to work full time for the next two years and then I can scale back a bit once we have some more money in place.

This weekend we've been invited to my brother's 30th and a dinner. We've decided we are going to beat the afternoon traffic on Friday and drive south to Dunsborough to stay with my brother, fiancee and my two nephews. I want to sit on a beach with the boys and build sand castles and just not think about work for a while....

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Tears tears and more tears..

Ok, I profess to not being perfect. Because I am not.

For the last four weeks I have been slaving away at my new job. I've been making a real effort. So much so that I feel that I have been neglecting other things in my life which are important.

I had my interview for my permanent role yesterday morning. They are a huge company and I think I am on a massive, steep learning curve. Maybe I have taken on too much, I really don't know.

Last night as I was just about to leave, my supervisor called me for a chat. She thinks I'm burning out and needs to sit down with me on Monday to discuss my workload. She doesn't want the quality of my work comprimised. And she said its just a job and I am a mother and there are all these things to consider.

I walked out the back of our building last night and broke down. I could not stop crying. And this morning I cannot stop crying.

How do I get the balance people?

I need to sit down tomorrow night and work it all out. Liam and Rich come first but I need to work. Its so freaking hard but I don't want to complain because I am so blessed with what I have.


Friday, February 12, 2010

A nice little stash

A big thank you to the lovely Chantelle from Fat Mum Slim for the giveaway she had a few weeks ago that I won. I ended up choosing these lovely little pieces...

Treats for myself are far and few between these days, so these treasures are just beautiful. Thanks again Chantelle and Mary.
I have been so busy lately that I literally want to cry with exhaustion. Work is going really well, but god its mad. I do wonder if I am fulfilling all my duties as mother, wife and employee. I feel like I am treading water most of the time. And then there is the mother guilt on top of that, but hey, that's a whole other post.

We bought a new car last week. I love it and its such a zippy thing with so much space. Its an 08 Ford Focus. I've named her Francesca. I always name my cars. She's a beauty.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Dropping all my balls...

Here is a brief snapshot of my life these days:

5.45am - alarm goes off
5.50am - shower
6.10am - get dressed, do my hair, drink two sips of a cup of tea
6.30am - wake up Liam, feed him his milk and dress him
6.45am - wake up husband
7am - leave home, do the childcare run
7.15am - kiss husband and run for the train
7.30am - order hot chocolate with two marshmallows from kind man at coffee shop who tells me I look tired...every single morning
8am - start work
5pm - finish work
5.30pm - get home, feed Liam dinner, bath Liam, start dinner
7pm - Put Liam to bed
8pm - forget dinner is burning and realise we need to eat
9pm - pack everything for the following day

And then it starts all over again the following day.

I think if you ask any working mum, the days go by too quickly and its a constant struggle to stretch yourself as mum, wife and employee.

Liam has been sick for the past few days and yesterday Richard took him to the doctor to find out he has a throat infection. I think the three of us have had collectively about 6 hours sleep over the past three nights. When I looked in the mirror yesterday I don't think any amount of concealer could have filled the bags underneath my eyes.

Today I am home with Liam as he's not well enough to go to childcare. Richard has meetings in the city and I have a ton of work to do, but Liam comes first.

Its on days like this that everything comes crashing down and you feel like you are disappointing someone, namely my employer who told me yesterday they would love to make my 3 month contract a permanent role.

I'm realising you can't plan the next week, month or year ahead. You take it day by day and do the best that you can do.

And realise that you aren't superwoman! :)