Monday, April 12, 2010

Be each others cheerleader...

I grabbed Liam out of the car and grabbed my massive bag full of stuff. Toys, snacks, nappies and whatever it is you need to take when you head out of the house for 5 minutes. I open the gate to see my friend standing at her front door, eyes full of tears, with two screaming children behind her. I see her crying and I start as well.

8.55am, Sunday morning. I've had a fight with my husband, over something silly, like not hanging out the washing properly. Uh-oh. Don't fight the woman who has PMT and 4 hours sleep. No way. So I bite his head off.

I go to see my friend and have our usual Sunday morning playdate. Another girlfriend arrives with her 4 year old. We have children climbing over us, wanting drinks, wanting snacks and wanting, wanting, wanting something. We are tired, we are stressed and we feel a lot older than our 35 years.

We talk about the same things for the next hour while changing a shitty nappy, or placating an upset child or dodging a piece of flying lego. How hard being a mum is, how we wish our husbands would do that extra or how easy it can be to break down in tears at the end of a hard day.

We talk about things we can do for ourselves. How we don't have to be a matyr or slave to motherhood. We can spend money on ourselves, or spend a night out with the girls. We arrange to have breakfast, sans the monkeys, next Sunday on our own.

I ring my best friend during my lunchbreak and ask if she has made her doctors appointment tomorrow. She checks on me to make sure I will get to go for my walk after work.

We are in this motherhood gig together. And we do forget about ourselves, so we make sure we don't let each other do that. Because underneath the tiredness and the dark circles, there is a woman that needs to be looked after. Without the labels of mother, wife and employee attached to her. She needs time to be herself.

So, we check back in with each other each day. How great is it to have friends like this?

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