Friday, May 21, 2010

Love, Lust and Lies

Love Lust & Lies is the fifth documentary in a series Gillian Armstrong has been making about the lives, hopes and dreams of three lively, working class Adelaide girls since they were fourteen in 1976. Over more than thirty years, Kerry, Josie and Diana’s struggles have captured all our hearts. Now 47, the women’s stories explore universal truths about families, love, loss, hopes and dreams.

I was reading Who this week and the review of this movie caught my eye. I never watched it from the beginning but I'm going to take myself off to the movies next week with my lovely Auntie Pauline and we are going to see it together.

I loved what the director said in the interview in Who when asked about what she learnt from making the documentary:

'The most important gift we can give our children is self esteem. It will enable them to attract good friends and good relationships and love themselves for who they are'.

Never a truer word spoken Gillian.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Goodbye Ann

During the week I was told the tragic news of a school friends mother passing.

I went to a private catholic high school and made friends with a girl called Clair and her lovely sisters Jane and Kelly. I remember these girls being great friends, as well as sisters. They lived in a beautiful old cottage at the back of the school church and behind the priests residence.

I remember going to their house after school and their mum Ann being in the kitchen, with a hot drink and a plate of goodies. We'd sit at her big, kitchen table and she would say 'tell me about your day'. Coming from a family of boys, I loved going to Clair's house. I'd always wanted a sister.

Ann was inspiring. She was a single mother to these three girls and did a huge amount of work for the community and the school. She looked after the Brothers and Sisters who taught us. She was always happy and was such a supportive parent and friend.

I was so happy to hear that she remarried 10 years ago and sold the beautiful cottage and moved to a farm with her new husband. My friend Clair moved to the US and has three beautiful girls, one of which is only a few months old. Her mum just got back home after spending time with her new granddaughter.

Last Saturday night Ann went to pick up her husband in town and her car crashed head on into a tree and she died instantly. Her eldest daughter said that she looked so peaceful when she went to see her and there was not a scratch on her.

I am so sad for the family, such a tragic passing. I'll be going to a mass to say goodbye and I will always think of the beautiful Ann.

RIP beautiful lady.


Wednesday, May 12, 2010

A new me

Life has been great lately. In fact, better than great. My mind and my body feel clear and I feel healthy. I had no idea that pain can wear you down as it did to me for 16 months. It only took having an operation to give me a new lease of life.

When I was in hospital I really thought about all the food I ate and how much I have hated my body post Liam. I hardly looked in the mirror anymore to really survey myself and I shoved all matter of junk in it without a care in the world. The result was a bloated and sluggish Jo.

In hospital I was on a liquid diet and a few kilo's where lost. I was weighed at 79kgs when I went in and now I don't know how much I weigh but I plan to weigh myself tomorrow if I can find a set of scales in a pharmacy. This is something that I would never do, but I'd like to know if I have lost anymore.

I have been following a gluten free/low fat diet for the past three weeks. I've just been doing my normal exercise with Liam and swimming on Thursday nights. I've not had any sugar, caffeine or chocolate. No wine. Its killing me, but when I think about having it, my mind goes back to the conversation the doctor had with me about diet and I think don't go there.

My aim is not to not drink until Xmas and follow my diet until the end of the year and see what happens. I am really feeling fantastic and its a challenge to come up with a gluten free dinner each night. We are doing crumbed fish and chicken and we love it.

This year I am going to stick with it :)

Saturday, May 1, 2010

The week that was...

I've been absent for a while these days and its been for a good reason. I wasn't well and had a week long stay in hospital.

It started last Wednesday. I woke up and got ready for work. Something inside of me didn't feel right. I felt exhausted and I remember not wanting to blowdry my hair. I remember saying to Richard I wasn't going to kill myself to get out the door that morning and when I got to work and went to the bathroom, I remember looking at myself in the mirror and then looking away again. I looked ill. But I just told myself to get on with things.

At lunchtime I went for a walk and got a sandwich. I couldn't chew it and spat it out. I got back to my desk and burst into tears. My two bosses took my aside and told me to go home. They had been concerned about me since the beginning of the week. I was in extreme pain but told Richard I would catch the train home and he needn't bother picking me up. I spent the train journey home crying.

When Richard picked me up I lost it. I said I wanted this pain to be over. He took me to our Chiro, Dane. Dane didn't want to touch me and sent us to the hospital instead. He knew it was an organ problem, either kidney or gallbladder. While screaming down the freeway I called mum and asked her to pick up Liam from childcare.

We got to emergency where I was admitted and given a shot of morphine. They then did a blood test and did an ultrasound. Things were not good. My liver count was extreme which explained the back pain and my gallbladder was about to burst which contained gallstones. I also had a stone stuck in my bile duct.

What happened over the next week I would never wish on anyone. It was awful. I had two operations and was told twice that if it had been left one week, yes one week longer, I would be dead, no question.

I have never been so scared in my life. I thought I was scared when I was about to have my c section but this was different.

One week doesn't sound a long time, but it enabled me to have a good, long hard think about things. It also enabled me to have a rest.

I am home now and feeling 150% better. My tummy is a mass of wounds and scars, but I don't care. I am home, I am alive and I am healthy again.

There are so many things that used to bug me or upset me. I don't care anymore. The sky looks bluer, the grass is greener and I appreciate the birds singing. Life is a series of moments and when you grab those moments by the hand, they make your heart sing.

I really want to thank everyone that sent me good luck messages on facebook and via text. It meant the world to me.