Thursday, August 12, 2010

One big balancing act...

This has not been the best week. Last Sunday I went out with my parents and while putting Liam into his car seat I noticed he was starting to get the beginnings of conjunctivitis.

It seems that we go from one week of a slightly runny nose and some good sleep, to another week of gastro, or in this case, conjunctivitis, green snot and a constant, barking cough.

Liam's childcare centre is a lovely place and so many people tell me we are very lucky to get him in there, but I am starting to wish winter away and all these bugs he is picking up.

It makes me feel terribly guilty when I have to go to work and he is left with mum, or Richard, while we all take turns to stay at home to make him better.

This morning Liam was looking great, so we decided to chance childcare. I got a phone call just before lunch to pick him up, so now I am at home trying to get work done while he is having a nap.

Working full time is killing me, physically and emotionally. I love my job, but I feel awful leaving Liam each day. My boss has asked me if I have considered going part time and this is something I will be taking up very soon, depending on how big our mortgage will be.

Everyone at work has been so good about it, but I can feel myself get down by disappointing everyone and disappointing the most important person, Liam.

Some days I wish there was more of me to go around or more time in the day to get stuff done. Roll on this house purchase and I am crossing my fingers our mortgage is going to be manageable so I can spend a few more precious days each week having quality time with my little boy.

3 comments:

Amy said...

I'm right there with you. Every day it feels like I'm pulling myself in four different directions- perfect wife, perfect mothers, perfect employee, perfect student. I'd love to get to quit my job and drop one of those balls, but it's so hard.

GG said...

The winter bugs are no fun. Just think less then 3 weeks to go until spring!

I'm looking forward to hearing more about the future house purchase. It's been ages since I've caught up on your life.

G.xx

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